Maintaining a Secure Connection with Your Child
A secure connection with both parents is really important to your child’s development. The amount and quality of time your child has with both of you is vital. Part of being co-parents is accepting that you will not always have access to your children when you want because you share their time. For some parents, this may cause anxiety or sadness because they miss spending time with their children. Missing time with your kids is normal, but do your best and don’t allow the anxiousness about connecting with your kids get in the way of trusting the connection you already have.
Time with your co-parent is equally important for your child. Your child needs ample amounts of time with both parents for healthy development, provided both parents are healthy people. Assuming that you are both healthy individuals working together to raise a well-adjusted child, your child visiting her other parent is an opportunity for you to practice resting in the security of your parent -child relationship. You have to trust that the connection you have with your child is strong and built on a solid foundation. Positive messages your child has from you about spending time with her parent demonstrate your own security in the relationship. It is OK, and it is expected, that she will have to leave you to spend time with your co-parent. Your child does not have to worry about how you are doing without her. You don’t want your child to have to carry the emotional burden of thinking she has to take care of you.
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